


Fear

by LilRedFox



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Gay, Gay Fear, Gay Panic, LGBTQ Themes, Panic Attacks, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 08:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15553698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilRedFox/pseuds/LilRedFox
Summary: Another ramble. Based on like a week or two ago. I'm dumb.





	Fear

**Author's Note:**

> Basically the aftermath of me trying to watch an lgbt inclusive show in the living room and my brother's comment on a gay character.

What to do when all one wants to do is scream? If these were simpler times the answer would be scream. Alas, these are not simpler times, so all that's left is to stumble on mutely. To scream is all I desire in this moment, and yet all that's heard is my silence.

Is it hot? My hands feel as if they're trembling and my eyes cannot leave the screen. It's stuttering going either too fast or too slow, my heart. I feel my veins begin to shake. I know what this is but that doesn't matter this time. I find my self in an endless record of breathing to fast or not breathing at all. All in an attempt to make it stop.

It ends and I find only two minutes have passed. I escaped to my room an hour ago, to calm down. My trembling fear had blown up without warning, or maybe my shaky fear was the warning. I sit in silence, still unable to move. It's over and I feel empty.

The past fits are now a lie, an exaggeration. This is true because nothing worked. Realising what it was didn't help this time. Maybe I waited too long; how can one do an exercise if they can't focus long enough to remember how it goes? Is it in 7 or out 7? Do I touch or see first?

In hindsight, I saw it coming from hours away. So so so stupid. Should've turned it off after the first episode. So so so tired.


End file.
